Dear Google Security People/Program/I’m Not Sure
I am very grateful to you for keeping my email account safe from vicious hackers who seek to destroy me by stealing my identity/information and screwing with my life. And no, I am not being sarcastic. However, you might want to tone it down a bit? No? Okay. But I don’t feel very protected when I am locked out of my own email account for weeks because I signed in from a different location than last time – I travel a lot, and I freeload on other people’s WiFi (no shame at all) so yeah, my IP address will change a whole bunch. That’s no reason for you to pull out the bulletproof barricades. Haven’t you guys ever heard of security questions? Because I.Will.Not.Give.You.My.Phone.Number. I just won’t. I don’t want my phone number on the internet. What if one of those crazy hacker people gets it? Then they’ll have two key pieces of info about me. Besides, because I travel so much, sometimes my phone just won’t work in a foreign country. What happens then? You asked for an alternate email address, and I gave it to you. I entered the code you sent me, and still you were not satisfied. And to make it all worse, there is no way to contact you guys. So when I’m locked out, I’m stranded, and that’s all there is to it. Also, now that I think about it, how come you only block my sign-in attempts from Nigeria? I mean, I agree with you, it’s a shit country full of sketchy people though somehow I’ve managed to survive here for over two decades, but that’s not the point. Why don’t you feel as eager to “protect” my account when I sign in from Lille, or Geneva, or Paris or Amiens or Kent? Are you saying that all a hacker has to do to successfully invade my account is appear to be in a white country? Et tu Google? Tsk tsk.
Real E. Frustrated